In which I make a summary of recent events.

Hi hi~ how are you all?
I would like to apologize to everyone before anything, since I've been very inactive over here. I always check everything around but haven't had time to draw properly, specially in digital media. I'm sorry.

In the other hand I've been through many things lately and I feel absolutely messed up haha. I went to the Psychologist for the first time in my life and it felt nice. He told me that I'm under too much stress (what I've been hearing for a while) and routines so we're working on it. I nearly fainted that day on the way back home and it was awful, specially because in this country I'm sure that alone in the subway and unconscious I could've been robbed easily. I took strenght from nowhere and managed to arrive home. I had fever and nauseas, weakness and felt heavy all over. After some doubting I went to the doctor and he diagnosed me Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, yay... So I'm taking pills and vitamins to stay stronger.

Funny thing, I won a giveaway that week and got something from the mail that had me extremely worried, so I had good luck feeling shitty ahahaha. I'm also planning some other cool stuff for the next CCC, talking with friends, planning evil stuff (?) and pretty much thinking and overthinking so I struggle to sleep sometimes... Country's situation is basically killing us all and there's no one, not even directors and bosses scaping from the economic situation. You'll most likely hear people skipping meals and even so they can't afford food enough for the whole month. People with kids are struggling harder with the school items, books, uniforms and such. I try to stay calm and feel grateful I have nothing to loose or really struggle for but it's depressing.
That's why many people are leaving here. It's common to hear "I'm leaving in two months, next week, six months" or planning things with your friends and getting a response like "I can't go, I'm leaving before then"

One of my childhood friends is leaving with his cousin, with absolutely nothing. He's leaving tomorrow and we helped them to think and plan, advicing about food, the forniture and everything. We spent our last day yesterday like every meeting we make and... I honestly had fun and didn't feel bad because he's leaving until I said goodbye and took the bus. The way back home was awful and probably seemed like someone just broke my heart but I couldn't stop. I just want him to remember our last time with a smile and without feeling any regrets of leaving us behind, and like a "see ya" because we all want to  be there with him.

These few months had been really reflexive for me. There's no single day I cannot think about leaving and all I have to do because it feels like something's kicking my butt saying "Move!" and I have to. It's just so complicated I end up discouraged, specially in the economic side. I want to keep growing, and giving myself the chance to improve and prove myself wrong I couldn't do this.

Sorry this all seems like a diary page xD But I want to keep you updated and real without sugacoating my life. This is what I live and how it goes. You can take it or leave it, I'm not making anyone comment or anything. Just give what your heart tells you to.

Loves you,
Berichan